








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 647 | 38% |
| Smokes | 226 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 640 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 212 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,689 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greasy Milkman | 48% | 31 |
| #2 | Luch | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Chet Fox | 37% | 60 |
| #4 | 1337 hax0r | 35% | 26 |
| #5 | Broman | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chet Fox | 37% | 60 |
| #4 | 1337 hax0r | 35% | 26 |
| #5 | Broman | 34% | 29 |
| #6 | Bobbyxm | 34% | 32 |
| #7 | FoReVeR | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chet Fox | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Bobbyxm | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Greasy Milkman | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Broman | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chet Fox | 150 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Broman | 61 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | FoReVeR | 51 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bobbyxm | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | 1337 hax0r | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoReVeR | +4.78 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Broman | +1.48 | 44 | 51 |
| #3 | Greasy Milkman | +1.41 | 64 | 44 |
| #4 | Chet Fox | -0.94 | 45 | 46 |
| #5 | 1337 hax0r | -1.58 | 30 | 39 |





