








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8716 | 24% |
| Smokes | 12399 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 6892 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 8425 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,604,264 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1665 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orbits08 | 66% | 67 |
| #2 | SPIN TEST!! | 61% | 88 |
| #3 | Perplex | 57% | 75 |
| #4 | PrAe | 57% | 129 |
| #5 | Push Start Gamer | 55% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PrAe | 793 | 0.30 | 17 min |
| #2 | Orbits08 | 510 | 0.38 | 14 min |
| #3 | Push Start Gamer | 406 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | SPIN TEST!! | 272 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | TidusTacos | 251 | 0.11 | 5 min |





