








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 900 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5657 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3284 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5001 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5307 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,639,414 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Push Start Gamer | 46% | 119 |
| #10 | FlickSixx | 45% | 51 |
| #11 | ChippWarrior | 45% | 100 |
| #12 | PrAe | 43% | 169 |
| #13 | Dudy Dude | 41% | 58 |





