








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 670 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3353 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4718 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3693 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4767 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,380,837 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jari | 62% | 117 |
| #2 | zodiac | 57% | 155 |
| #3 | pippurine | 57% | 132 |
| #4 | N1k0j4x | 54% | 124 |
| #5 | Haekle Caekle | 54% | 334 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | FIN N1k0j4x | 53% | 43 |
| #7 | L1PP0 | 53% | 182 |
| #8 | W1su | 47% | 34 |
| #9 | Sipsi | 41% | 69 |
| #10 | ilkkuPvP | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1PP0 | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Haekle Caekle | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Sipsi | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | zodiac | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | N1k0j4x | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haekle Caekle | 1458 | 0.20 | 45 min |
| #2 | L1PP0 | 523 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | zodiac | 449 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | Jari | 378 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | pippurine | 323 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zodiac | +3.14 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | Haekle Caekle | +2.45 | 70 | 80 |
| #3 | L1PP0 | +0.66 | 51 | 65 |
| #4 | pippurine | -0.01 | 61 | 70 |
| #5 | ilkkuPvP | -0.25 | 67 | 71 |





