








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2567 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2148 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2394 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2564 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $907,039 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Risto | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | Tonz | 57% | 155 |
| #3 | spirit of fire | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | L1PP0 | 55% | 115 |
| #5 | pippurine | 52% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Sipsi | 50% | 28 |
| #8 | Jari | 50% | 173 |
| #9 | W1su | 47% | 36 |
| #10 | ilkkuPvP | 46% | 54 |
| #11 | N1k0j4x | 42% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haekle Caekle | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Jari | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | N1k0j4x | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Tonz | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | pippurine | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haekle Caekle | 1058 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | Jari | 416 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Tonz | 331 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | pippurine | 323 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | L1PP0 | 295 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zodiac | +3.07 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | Haekle Caekle | +1.97 | 71 | 78 |
| #3 | L1PP0 | -0.47 | 52 | 60 |
| #4 | pippurine | -0.57 | 60 | 70 |
| #5 | Risto | -0.62 | 79 | 40 |





