








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2615 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3067 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2006 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2970 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $960,508 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Risto | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Tonz | 57% | 132 |
| #3 | L1PP0 | 55% | 88 |
| #4 | zodiac | 52% | 129 |
| #5 | Jari | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zodiac | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Sipsi | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Haekle Caekle | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | N1k0j4x | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | L1PP0 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haekle Caekle | 767 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | zodiac | 408 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Tonz | 310 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | L1PP0 | 232 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jari | 202 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zodiac | +2.94 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | Haekle Caekle | +2.08 | 72 | 78 |
| #3 | L1PP0 | +0.49 | 54 | 62 |
| #4 | pippurine | +0.49 | 59 | 69 |
| #5 | Tonz | -0.47 | 53 | 59 |





