








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 846 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 483 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9117 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6201 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5864 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4191 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,347,739 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Louie | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | m0m3nt | 47% | 119 |
| #3 | Ninjawi | 47% | 96 |
| #4 | pinguSツ | 46% | 56 |
| #5 | fakie | 44% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kristers | 42% | 346 |
| #8 | Maky | 42% | 53 |
| #9 | ✧ Bubblqs | 41% | 92 |
| #10 | EmILs | 40% | 150 |
| #11 | tomasskebab | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ninjawi | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Louie | 9 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | tomasskebab | 9 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | m0m3nt | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | pinguSツ | 8 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0m3nt | 549 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | headshot0% | 462 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Ninjawi | 328 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kristers | 285 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | fakie | 208 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maky | +3.60 | 90 | 43 |
| #2 | ✧ Bubblqs | +2.35 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | m0m3nt | +1.62 | 64 | 68 |
| #4 | tomasskebab | +1.47 | 87 | 48 |
| #5 | pinguSツ | +0.77 | 67 | 34 |





