








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 591 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2508 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2232 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4892 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4657 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,684,123 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 730 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maky | 46% | 83 |
| #2 | ✧ Bubblqs | 44% | 146 |
| #3 | EmILs | 43% | 330 |
| #4 | headshot0% | 43% | 157 |
| #5 | Helvijs Saukants | 42% | 346 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helvijs Saukants | 27 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | tomasskebab | 17 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | EmILs | 15 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Maky | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | fakie | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helvijs Saukants | 1073 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | headshot0% | 358 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | fakie | 227 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | EmILs | 188 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✧ Bubblqs | 141 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maky | +3.87 | 89 | 37 |
| #2 | ✧ Bubblqs | +2.30 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | tomasskebab | +2.17 | 88 | 57 |
| #4 | Kristers | +0.34 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | headshot0% | +0.14 | 71 | 55 |





