








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 259 | 27% |
| Smokes | 407 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 217 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 88 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $394,199 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwoShot | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | KEN KIRKSON | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | lowball | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | 2randoms | 44% | 107 |
| #5 | AlBaba49 | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 2randoms | 44% | 107 |
| #5 | AlBaba49 | 41% | 37 |
| #6 | UnrealSars | 39% | 23 |
| #7 | Asian Boomhauer | 33% | 24 |
| #8 | bot206 | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asian Boomhauer | 9 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | lowball | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | bot206 | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | AlBaba49 | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | 2randoms | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lowball | 122 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | 2randoms | 53 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | bot206 | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | UnrealSars | 19 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | AlBaba49 | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEN KIRKSON | +6.73 | 60 | 27 |
| #2 | TwoShot | +3.12 | 53 | 9 |
| #3 | UnrealSars | +2.36 | 11 | 40 |
| #4 | lowball | +1.42 | 54 | 46 |
| #5 | AlBaba49 | -0.06 | 26 | 33 |





