








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1078 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 199 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 561 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2227 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 2237 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 723 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,963 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bot206 | 57% | 58 |
| #2 | UnrealSars | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | 2randoms | 51% | 154 |
| #4 | 10SaltedAlmonds | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | f5antana | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | UnrealSars | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | 2randoms | 51% | 154 |
| #4 | 10SaltedAlmonds | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | f5antana | 39% | 38 |
| #6 | Ho Chi Johnson | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2randoms | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | f5antana | 7 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | bot206 | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Ho Chi Johnson | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | UnrealSars | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2randoms | 185 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | f5antana | 103 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | bot206 | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | UnrealSars | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | 10SaltedAlmonds | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ho Chi Johnson | +4.35 | 72 | 24 |
| #2 | f5antana | +2.02 | 61 | 42 |
| #3 | UnrealSars | +1.24 | 9 | 54 |
| #4 | bot206 | -0.06 | 23 | 39 |
| #5 | AlBaba49 | -0.94 | 24 | 35 |





