








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 75 | 18% |
| Smokes | 44 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 187 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 114 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $218,389 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwoShot | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | UnrealSars | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | Ho Chi Johnson | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | 2randoms | 38% | 45 |
| #5 | 10SaltedAlmonds | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ho Chi Johnson | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | 2randoms | 38% | 45 |
| #5 | 10SaltedAlmonds | 33% | 24 |
| #6 | f5antana | 30% | 33 |
| #7 | bot206 | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bot206 | 3 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | f5antana | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | 2randoms | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | 10SaltedAlmonds | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | UnrealSars | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f5antana | 106 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | 10SaltedAlmonds | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | bot206 | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | TwoShot | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | 2randoms | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ho Chi Johnson | +7.35 | 90 | 44 |
| #2 | TwoShot | +4.34 | 48 | 23 |
| #3 | f5antana | +1.93 | 55 | 57 |
| #4 | UnrealSars | -0.18 | 6 | 23 |
| #5 | The Monkey of Manchuria | -0.54 | 13 | 17 |





