








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 572 | 15% |
| Smokes | 969 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1358 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 950 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $864,224 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fweewoom | 57% | 120 |
| #2 | martingamer73 | 54% | 179 |
| #3 | Das Auto. | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | Alfie is a good | 51% | 142 |
| #5 | James Doakes | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Alfie is a good | 51% | 142 |
| #5 | James Doakes | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | krunds | 45% | 60 |
| #7 | cReamy | 44% | 41 |
| #8 | Martin Luther Ping | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fweewoom | 31 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | martingamer73 | 26 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Alfie is a good | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Martin Luther Ping | 10 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | James Doakes | 5 | 0.0180 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | martingamer73 | 398 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Alfie is a good | 260 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | fweewoom | 248 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | krunds | 226 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | cReamy | 125 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krunds | +6.32 | 95 | 68 |
| #2 | fweewoom | +4.46 | 71 | 43 |
| #3 | cReamy | +0.50 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | martingamer73 | +0.29 | 57 | 56 |
| #5 | lirrics | -0.12 | 66 | 38 |





