








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1149 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1032 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 726 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 435 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,495 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deranker | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | lil mosquito awper (adept) | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Tappz | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Lare | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Chicken | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Criss de ptit batte | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | IceAssBaby | 33% | 15 |
| #11 | qcmonetteqc | 31% | 16 |
| #12 | MOFO | 29% | 7 |
| #13 | leo | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicken | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Lare | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Tappz | 2 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | lil mosquito awper (adept) | 2 | 0.0121 |
| #5 | Dark*tA*mEre* | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicken | 88 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Dark*tA*mEre* | 64 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Deranker | 63 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lare | 50 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | IceAssBaby | 40 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orange Tabarnack! | +4.27 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | lil mosquito awper (adept) | +3.62 | 96 | 56 |
| #3 | Tappz | +2.85 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | Lare | +2.52 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | leo | +1.69 | 79 | 63 |





