








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1932 | 29% |
| Smokes | 62 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 2141 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2538 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,074 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D🦢 | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | RefiaKazus | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ChaosEmperorDragon | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Munch | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Najinator | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D🦢 | 826 | 0.24 | 24 min |
| #2 | ChaosEmperorDragon | 181 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Munch | 165 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | RefiaKazus | 164 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Najinator | 134 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joker | +6.72 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | {Hybrid} | +3.14 | 48 | 67 |
| #3 | ChaosEmperorDragon | +2.41 | 42 | 69 |
| #4 | Munch | +1.26 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | D🦢 | +1.13 | 66 | 67 |





