








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 511 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 166 matches | ||
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6016 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5257 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3837 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3130 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,103,984 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 768 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hank | 58% | 290 |
| #2 | π€ | 57% | 341 |
| #3 | benlausc | 57% | 75 |
| #4 | s1001144 | 55% | 228 |
| #5 | snowmannnn | 54% | 258 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hank | 39 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | π€ | 36 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | θιΊ»δ»ζ²ζδΈεζ―θθ | 23 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | s1001144 | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | snowmannnn | 7 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π€ | 948 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | snowmannnn | 948 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #3 | hank | 916 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #4 | s1001144 | 801 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #5 | θιΊ»δ»ζ²ζδΈεζ―θθ | 510 | 0.09 | 11 min |





