








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4000 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3494 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3767 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1894 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,142,815 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 747 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1001144 | 62% | 111 |
| #2 | β | 58% | 290 |
| #3 | snowmannnn | 57% | 220 |
| #4 | benlausc | 57% | 37 |
| #5 | π€ | 53% | 331 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π€ | 45 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | β | 25 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | θιΊ»δ»ζ²ζδΈεζ―θθ | 22 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | snowmannnn | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | s1001144 | 9 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β | 858 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | π€ | 852 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | snowmannnn | 846 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #4 | θιΊ»δ»ζ²ζδΈεζ―θθ | 423 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | s1001144 | 365 | 0.17 | 9 min |





