








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1038 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1104 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 587 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 717 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,653 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crickett | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | coconutty | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Jon | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | The Captain | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crickett | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | coconutty | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Jon | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | The Captain | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crickett | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | coconutty | 5 | 0.0235 |
| #3 | Jon | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | The Captain | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jon | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Crickett | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | coconutty | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | The Captain | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coconutty | +0.63 | 58 | 56 |
| #2 | Crickett | -0.34 | 55 | 57 |
| #3 | SeB | -0.46 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Jon | -0.97 | 46 | 65 |
| #5 | The Captain | -2.29 | 29 | 45 |





