








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 131 | 7% |
| Smokes | 299 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 913 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 531 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,629 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeB | 60% | 10 |
| 53% | 19 | ||
| 40% | 5 | ||
| #4 | Crickett | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | The Captain | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 53% | 19 | ||
| 40% | 5 | ||
| #4 | Crickett | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | The Captain | 20% | 5 |
| #6 | steezeburger | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crickett | 3 | 0.0110 |
| 2 | 0.0052 | ||
| #3 | SeB | 2 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | steezeburger | 2 | 0.0179 |
| 2 | 0.0189 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeB | 67 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| 51 | 0.13 | 1 min | ||
| #3 | The Captain | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Crickett | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | steezeburger | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crickett | +4.38 | 76 | 47 |
| #2 | SeB | +2.02 | 58 | 69 |
| -0.24 | 38 | 60 | ||
| #4 | coconutty | -2.31 | 42 | 36 |
| #5 | The Captain | -2.72 | 23 | 40 |





