








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 252 | 12% |
| Smokes | 688 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 431 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,714 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | On hyv | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Grimmr | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | LexFlinkedin | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | elaB | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | SexyKitty<3 | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | elaB | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | SexyKitty<3 | 45% | 22 |
| #6 | Mawsu | 42% | 85 |
| #7 | ikonex | 41% | 95 |
| #8 | Stenfors | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mawsu | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Stenfors | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | ikonex | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | LexFlinkedin | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | SexyKitty<3 | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mawsu | 182 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | ikonex | 177 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | LexFlinkedin | 176 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Grimmr | 130 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #5 | elaB | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | On hyv | +3.01 | 59 | 51 |
| #2 | Grimmr | +2.45 | 44 | 68 |
| #3 | niksubb | +1.87 | 71 | 39 |
| #4 | Stenfors | -0.33 | 78 | 28 |
| #5 | Mawsu | -0.55 | 53 | 64 |





