








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 931 | 26% |
| Smokes | 966 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 843 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 817 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,051 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KumiPääs • Anatekki | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | On hyv | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | dieselproducer | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | niksubb | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | Mawsu | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mawsu | 46% | 54 |
| #6 | Grimmr | 45% | 33 |
| #7 | SexyKitty<3 | 41% | 32 |
| #8 | ikonex | 40% | 43 |
| #9 | Stenfors | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niksubb | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Mawsu | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | On hyv | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | KumiPääs • Anatekki | 2 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | SexyKitty<3 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimmr | 171 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mawsu | 133 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | ikonex | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | On hyv | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | niksubb | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dieselproducer | +3.90 | 90 | 39 |
| #2 | On hyv | +2.88 | 55 | 52 |
| #3 | Grimmr | +2.70 | 49 | 64 |
| #4 | niksubb | +2.47 | 66 | 44 |
| #5 | KumiPääs • Anatekki | +1.63 | 39 | 42 |





