








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2832 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2348 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3026 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1952 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,185,553 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niksubb | 41% | 95 |
| #2 | SexyKitty<3 | 41% | 32 |
| #3 | LexFlinkedin | 40% | 43 |
| #4 | Grimmr | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | Mawsu | 36% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SexyKitty<3 | 41% | 32 |
| #3 | LexFlinkedin | 40% | 43 |
| #4 | Grimmr | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | Mawsu | 36% | 130 |
| #6 | Stenfors | 36% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niksubb | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Stenfors | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Mawsu | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | LexFlinkedin | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mawsu | 244 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | LexFlinkedin | 178 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Grimmr | 92 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | Stenfors | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | niksubb | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimmr | +2.26 | 41 | 62 |
| #2 | niksubb | +1.71 | 73 | 39 |
| #3 | Stenfors | +0.92 | 81 | 34 |
| #4 | ikonex | +0.46 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Mawsu | -0.87 | 59 | 62 |





