










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 306 | 16% |
| Smokes | 496 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 669 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 387 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,110 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John F Kennedy | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | FILTHY KENNETH | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | kastewart09 | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | peydirt24 | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | OMiniMe0 | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MilkMaster | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Cherbo | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | OMiniMe0 | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | kastewart09 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | FILTHY KENNETH | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cherbo | 102 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | FILTHY KENNETH | 59 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | kastewart09 | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | OMiniMe0 | 32 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | BrennanMFHuff | 26 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John F Kennedy | +9.92 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | MilkMaster | +5.31 | 67 | 41 |
| #3 | MasterNanos | +0.56 | 63 | 35 |
| #4 | peydirt24 | +0.53 | 28 | 37 |
| #5 | OMiniMe0 | -0.13 | 39 | 18 |





