










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1435 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 528 | 15% |
| Smokes | 521 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1083 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1309 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $813,477 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MilkMaster | 53% | 79 |
| #2 | OMiniMe0 | 48% | 31 |
| #3 | jeremydrums | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | Cherbo | 41% | 116 |
| #5 | Soju | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | peydirt24 | 38% | 34 |
| #7 | kastewart09 | 35% | 17 |
| #8 | FILTHY KENNETH | 30% | 40 |
| #9 | OrphanAssassin | 29% | 21 |
| #10 | BrennanMFHuff | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cherbo | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | MilkMaster | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | OMiniMe0 | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | BrennanMFHuff | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | FILTHY KENNETH | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cherbo | 118 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | jeremydrums | 79 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | MilkMaster | 76 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | FILTHY KENNETH | 59 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | OMiniMe0 | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MilkMaster | +5.60 | 70 | 41 |
| #2 | Soju | +0.74 | 60 | 35 |
| #3 | jeremydrums | +0.68 | 54 | 46 |
| #4 | MasterNanos | +0.04 | 64 | 31 |
| #5 | OMiniMe0 | -1.22 | 38 | 34 |





