








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1175 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1195 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1568 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1317 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,775 of utility $10 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d1nkzxje | 33 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | BALDWIN IV | 17 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | PUSSINNI SHUSHINNI | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | pHyx | 15 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Evis1 | 13 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d1nkzxje | 676 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | BALDWIN IV | 647 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | PUSSINNI SHUSHINNI | 582 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Evis1 | 443 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | HopeOneLoves | 398 | 0.13 | 7 min |





