










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1743 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2030 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2192 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1443 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,302 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d1nkzxje | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | PUSSINNI SHUSHINNI | 49% | 135 |
| #3 | BALDWIN IV | 47% | 130 |
| #4 | HopeOneLoves | 47% | 75 |
| #5 | Evis1 | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakuna Matata | 41 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | d1nkzxje | 21 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | BALDWIN IV | 15 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | PUSSINNI SHUSHINNI | 14 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Evis1 | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUSSINNI SHUSHINNI | 454 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | BALDWIN IV | 364 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | d1nkzxje | 342 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | HopeOneLoves | 208 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Evis1 | 185 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d1nkzxje | +2.69 | 72 | 40 |
| #2 | Evis1 | +1.11 | 53 | 50 |
| #3 | PUSSINNI SHUSHINNI | +0.19 | 52 | 52 |
| #4 | pHyx | +0.03 | 42 | 49 |
| #5 | BALDWIN IV | -0.39 | 64 | 55 |





