








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




135 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 238 | 17% |
| Smokes | 298 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 337 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 514 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,254 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry Pooter | 69% | 39 |
| #2 | 【SG】Lillburstrom | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | [NL] FlamingWalrus | 44% | 207 |
| #4 | Angel | 38% | 216 |
| #5 | Meyae1 | 35% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry Pooter | 69% | 39 |
| #2 | 【SG】Lillburstrom | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | [NL] FlamingWalrus | 44% | 207 |
| #4 | Angel | 38% | 216 |
| #5 | Meyae1 | 35% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angel | 62 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | [NL] FlamingWalrus | 53 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | Barry Pooter | 7 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Meyae1 | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | 【SG】Lillburstrom | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [NL] FlamingWalrus | 167 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | Meyae1 | 116 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Barry Pooter | 111 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Angel | 105 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | 【SG】Lillburstrom | 69 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry Pooter | +14.37 | 98 | 58 |
| #2 | Angel | +6.12 | 63 | 18 |
| #3 | 【SG】Lillburstrom | +4.28 | 74 | 31 |
| #4 | [NL] FlamingWalrus | -0.76 | 22 | 21 |
| #5 | Meyae1 | -4.43 | 22 | 9 |





