








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 148 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1287 | 23% |
| Smokes | 400 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1666 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2344 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,850 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NyokaKynos | 53 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Angel | 46 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | Meyae1 | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | standeman10 | 1 | 0.0010 |





