








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1563 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1178 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 520 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 892 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $128,129 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Olvepus | 40% | 20 |
| #11 | Johan Pikk | 36% | 14 |
| #12 | Glenn Grå Tann | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | Jesper Jøssang Stang | 33% | 6 |
| #14 | Rask i svingane | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rask i svingane | 10 | 0.0298 |
| #2 | Bømlingen | 9 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | XXXGargamelSÆDXXX | 7 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Jesper Jøssang Stang | 5 | 0.0439 |
| #5 | Olvepus | 4 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me2 | +3.44 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | nexianz | +2.93 | 83 | 72 |
| #3 | Dugi | +1.27 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | Bømlingen | +1.01 | 76 | 46 |
| #5 | Onkel Farfar | +0.50 | 51 | 59 |





