








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11 | 2% |
| Smokes | 72 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 208 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 254 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $67,865 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rask i svingane | 25% | 12 |
| #9 | Glenn Grå Tann | 13% | 8 |
| #10 | Johan Pikk | 0% | 3 |
| #11 | Jesper Jøssang Stang | 0% | 3 |
| #12 | Senterborknekker/Hjerteknuser | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rask i svingane | 8 | 0.0343 |
| #2 | XXXGargamelSÆDXXX | 4 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Dugi | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Bømlingen | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Glenn Grå Tann | 3 | 0.0162 |





