










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 26 | 9% |
| Smokes | 93 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 91 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 76 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $51,510 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nafloob | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | anal4sale | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Manthis | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Da Atomic | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | the BIG Splash | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | OnlyAgility | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | -drox- | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | Haw0y | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | GDogg | 38% | 21 |
| #10 | Guswolverine | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -drox- | 3 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Da Atomic | 3 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | GDogg | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | OnlyAgility | 2 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | Manthis | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GDogg | 67 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Haw0y | 57 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | the BIG Splash | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Da Atomic | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | OnlyAgility | 35 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OnlyAgility | +2.97 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | Da Atomic | +2.87 | 57 | 52 |
| #3 | GDogg | +2.29 | 62 | 63 |
| #4 | Nafloob | +1.77 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | Haw0y | +1.62 | 84 | 54 |





