








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2440 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3498 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2067 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2243 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,565 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guswolverine | 57% | 61 |
| #2 | OnlyAgility | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | ET7BD | 52% | 54 |
| #4 | Manthis | 49% | 81 |
| #5 | -drox- | 47% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | DHOP | 45% | 42 |
| #7 | the BIG Splash | 45% | 119 |
| #8 | Haw0y | 42% | 91 |
| #9 | Nafloob | 38% | 34 |
| #10 | D1MPLE | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the BIG Splash | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Manthis | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Haw0y | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | -drox- | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | OnlyAgility | 5 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the BIG Splash | 248 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Haw0y | 245 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Manthis | 228 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | -drox- | 224 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | DHOP | 188 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GDogg | +2.33 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | OnlyAgility | +2.03 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | Haw0y | +0.51 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | -drox- | +0.02 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | Manthis | -1.13 | 45 | 66 |





