








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




135 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5440 | 36% |
| Smokes | 7671 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 507 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 1675 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,694,536 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeet | 49% | 68 |
| #2 | GUH | 47% | 176 |
| #3 | Magma | 45% | 198 |
| #4 | ¼ | 44% | 135 |
| #5 | Freak E. Cheese | 43% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GUH | 80 | 0.0227 |
| #2 | El Creyente | 55 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Magma | 45 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | ¼ | 40 | 0.0150 |
| #5 | Yeet | 32 | 0.0241 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magma | 609 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Freak E. Cheese | 516 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | GUH | 454 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | El Creyente | 245 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | leprechaunsoup | 242 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mic4h | +5.58 | 68 | 63 |
| #2 | Magma | +5.09 | 39 | 61 |
| #3 | mole | +3.72 | 58 | 48 |
| #4 | GUH | +2.85 | 55 | 48 |
| #5 | Yeet | +2.79 | 32 | 55 |





