








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2220 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1978 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1795 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2073 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,551 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1826 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeet | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Magma | 49% | 142 |
| #3 | mole | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | El Creyente | 49% | 125 |
| #5 | mic4h | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GUH | 38 | 0.0292 |
| #2 | Magma | 34 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | YAMI_SLICER | 33 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | El Creyente | 33 | 0.0136 |
| #5 | ¼ | 23 | 0.0195 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magma | 464 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | YAMI_SLICER | 449 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | mole | 179 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | GUH | 163 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | El Creyente | 147 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magma | +4.20 | 37 | 61 |
| #2 | mic4h | +3.04 | 64 | 66 |
| #3 | mole | +2.24 | 52 | 54 |
| #4 | Yeet | +1.95 | 27 | 48 |
| #5 | GUH | +1.65 | 57 | 47 |





