








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 188 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




133 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4707 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1794 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2268 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1861 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,969,802 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 956 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | YAMI_SLICER | 45% | 198 |
| #7 | GUH | 45% | 130 |
| #8 | FoodPorn | 44% | 45 |
| #9 | leprechaunsoup | 44% | 105 |
| #10 | Goochie | 41% | 46 |





