










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 497 | 29% |
| Smokes | 488 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 351 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 370 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $117,263 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR.D | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Cellato | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Mother Nature | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | slob (lob variety) | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | digi | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | fat koala | 61% | 23 |
| #9 | MrTanki4 | 60% | 5 |
| #10 | BAiTLE G | 56% | 9 |
| #11 | Gus Bryant | 50% | 18 |
| #12 | ✪AzuBix | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gus Bryant | 5 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | fat koala | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fat koala | 76 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | MR.D | 49 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tukan_Indus121 | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | BAiTLE G | 35 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gus Bryant | 24 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mother Nature | +9.19 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | slob (lob variety) | +8.82 | 90 | 38 |
| #3 | MR.D | +7.36 | 88 | 83 |
| #4 | ✪AzuBix | +2.97 | 42 | 52 |
| #5 | MrTanki4 | +2.12 | 87 | 66 |





