








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2576 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3541 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2577 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2808 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,457,059 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | fat koala | 51% | 202 |
| #8 | MrTanki4 | 51% | 356 |
| #9 | Mother Nature | 51% | 65 |
| #10 | BAiTLE G | 47% | 99 |
| #11 | AcE | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrTanki4 | 19 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | fat koala | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | MR.D | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Gus Bryant | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | BAiTLE G | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR.D | 1359 | 0.20 | 38 min |
| #2 | MrTanki4 | 1206 | 0.16 | 35 min |
| #3 | fat koala | 657 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | BAiTLE G | 486 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #5 | Mother Nature | 374 | 0.26 | 9 min |





