








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1047 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4892 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3158 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3703 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2934 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $876,807 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 333 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Certified Brain Lag | 55% | 128 |
| #7 | bogdan | 54% | 100 |
| #8 | PuZiTe | 54% | 54 |
| #9 | KagisB | 53% | 103 |
| #10 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 53% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .dookie. | 14 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | DyopeX | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | bogdan | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Certified Brain Lag | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 442 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | DyopeX | 421 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | bogdan | 337 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | KagisB | 223 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | PuZiTe | 142 | 0.13 | 4 min |





