








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 526 | 30% |
| Smokes | 514 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 327 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 377 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,716 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Haaga Hustla 00400 | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | GaBossManNig | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | SPLONETZEMAG | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | Kivi | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greg Paul | 180 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Romanian disassembly expert | 107 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | SPLONETZEMAG | 92 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | BOB | 80 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kivi | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |





