








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 870 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1307 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1257 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1424 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,727 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahrou | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | BOB | 58% | 52 |
| #3 | Aelius | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | Greg Paul | 55% | 103 |
| #5 | SPLONETZEMAG | 54% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Aelius | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | Greg Paul | 55% | 103 |
| #5 | SPLONETZEMAG | 54% | 111 |
| #6 | Romanian disassembly expert | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | GaBossManNig | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPLONETZEMAG | 20 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Aelius | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | GaBossManNig | 5 | 0.0180 |
| #4 | Greg Paul | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | BOB | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greg Paul | 451 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | SPLONETZEMAG | 408 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | BOB | 405 | 0.37 | 13 min |
| #4 | Aelius | 318 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ahrou | 93 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPLONETZEMAG | +1.83 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | Aelius | +1.13 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | BOB | +0.72 | 72 | 80 |
| #4 | Greg Paul | +0.46 | 68 | 77 |
| #5 | Ahrou | -0.15 | 81 | 58 |





