








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 801 | 30% |
| Smokes | 607 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 843 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 382 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,400 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahrou | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Haaga Hustla 00400 | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | BOB | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | ByeBye (preZident) | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | Greg Paul | 36% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SPLONETZEMAG | 33% | 21 |
| #9 | Romanian disassembly expert | 32% | 31 |
| #10 | Larppis | 27% | 11 |
| #11 | Aelius | 26% | 31 |
| #12 | Kivi | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aelius | 16 | 0.0255 |
| #2 | Romanian disassembly expert | 11 | 0.0191 |
| #3 | Haaga Hustla 00400 | 11 | 0.0379 |
| #4 | Greg Paul | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | SPLONETZEMAG | 7 | 0.0162 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greg Paul | 207 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | BOB | 131 | 0.43 | 4 min |
| #3 | Romanian disassembly expert | 116 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aelius | 106 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Haaga Hustla 00400 | 66 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPLONETZEMAG | +4.18 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | Ahrou | +3.12 | 80 | 49 |
| #3 | Greg Paul | +2.12 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | Aelius | +1.42 | 77 | 56 |
| #5 | Larppis | +1.40 | 49 | 65 |





