








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8409 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5247 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4511 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4578 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,034,334 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harry Gehrsack | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | rapid` | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | jmw | 61% | 41 |
| #4 | bogeN | 59% | 46 |
| #5 | t0gg | 57% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hi I'm Albi | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | C0iNNN | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | EhN1 | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | t0gg | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | hikikomori | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0iNNN | 691 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | EhN1 | 509 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | hikikomori | 507 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | Hi I'm Albi | 363 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | t0gg | 295 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0iNNN | +2.20 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | rapid` | +2.13 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | tipico goofy | +1.82 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | Harry Gehrsack | +1.16 | 67 | 75 |
| #5 | bogeN | +0.97 | 74 | 71 |





