








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1672 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2358 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1884 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1880 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,956 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorn1g | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | sancho | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | bogeN | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | hikikomori | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | C0iNNN | 52% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | m0seS | 52% | 163 |
| #8 | tipico goofy | 51% | 35 |
| #9 | EhN1 | 50% | 128 |
| #10 | TMS | 45% | 40 |
| #11 | Harry Gehrsack | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0seS | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | C0iNNN | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | EhN1 | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | t0gg | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | TMS | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0seS | 1049 | 0.30 | 28 min |
| #2 | EhN1 | 368 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | C0iNNN | 326 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | t0gg | 275 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | hikikomori | 149 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorn1g | +5.50 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | C0iNNN | +2.66 | 92 | 71 |
| #3 | tipico goofy | +1.00 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | m0seS | +0.49 | 75 | 78 |
| #5 | EhN1 | +0.33 | 84 | 60 |





