








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1700 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1991 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2100 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2122 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,735 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hikikomori | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | bogeN | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | EhN1 | 59% | 98 |
| #4 | C0iNNN | 58% | 43 |
| #5 | m0seS | 57% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Harry Gehrsack | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | Diesen Zahnfee | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | tipico goofy | 53% | 38 |
| #9 | Hi I'm Albi | 52% | 107 |
| #10 | TMS | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0seS | 14 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Hi I'm Albi | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | EhN1 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | C0iNNN | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | tipico goofy | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0seS | 860 | 0.30 | 22 min |
| #2 | EhN1 | 254 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hi I'm Albi | 249 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | C0iNNN | 168 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | tipico goofy | 113 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0iNNN | +3.11 | 94 | 70 |
| #2 | tipico goofy | +2.00 | 87 | 61 |
| #3 | EhN1 | +1.37 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | bogeN | +1.21 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | Harry Gehrsack | +1.11 | 61 | 69 |





