








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2041 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2218 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1310 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2186 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,490 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0gg | 59% | 98 |
| #2 | jmw | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | m0seS | 51% | 182 |
| #4 | bogeN | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Hi I'm Albi | 50% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jules | 48% | 21 |
| #9 | Harry Gehrsack | 46% | 26 |
| #10 | C0iNNN | 45% | 89 |
| #11 | TMS | 31% | 48 |
| #12 | rigatoni | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0seS | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Hi I'm Albi | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | C0iNNN | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | jmw | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | t0gg | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0seS | 1185 | 0.30 | 32 min |
| #2 | C0iNNN | 401 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | Hi I'm Albi | 287 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | hikikomori | 260 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | t0gg | 252 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tipico goofy | +2.27 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | C0iNNN | +1.65 | 91 | 69 |
| #3 | rigatoni | +0.87 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | jmw | +0.65 | 68 | 79 |
| #5 | Harry Gehrsack | +0.27 | 68 | 67 |





