








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2916 | 44% |
| Smokes | 735 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 2413 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 632 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,272 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUNCHRULLE | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | quoirky | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | ♿ mindloud | 37% | 35 |
| #4 | beige | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUNCHRULLE | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | quoirky | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | ♿ mindloud | 37% | 35 |
| #4 | beige | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ mindloud | 17 | 0.0252 |
| #2 | beige | 6 | 0.0203 |
| #3 | quoirky | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | PUNCHRULLE | 2 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ mindloud | 76 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | PUNCHRULLE | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | quoirky | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | beige | 17 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUNCHRULLE | +0.48 | 43 | 64 |
| #2 | ♿ mindloud | +0.02 | 62 | 46 |
| #3 | pianoly | -1.37 | 24 | 53 |
| #4 | beige | -2.25 | 24 | 30 |
| #5 | quoirky | -3.01 | 28 | 31 |





