










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1981 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 521 matches | ||
| Wingman | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




284 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9017 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6141 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7233 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6316 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,254,842 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5663 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bomp | 67% | 98 |
| #2 | Heinz | 59% | 91 |
| #3 | halalcat | 56% | 123 |
| #4 | quoirky | 52% | 86 |
| #5 | lichy 𐂯 | 51% | 94 |





