










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 227 matches | ||
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 172 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2762 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4658 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3868 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4106 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,431,209 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Styx | 56% | 128 |
| #5 | Mörli | 55% | 66 |
| #6 | Sk1reh | 51% | 210 |
| #7 | ✧: •.c dawg hates csgo | 47% | 325 |
| #8 | god | 45% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✧: •.c dawg hates csgo | 37 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Styx | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | rezot | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Sk1reh | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | god | 5 | 0.0015 |





