








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 822 | 27% |
| Smokes | 936 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 674 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 576 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,123 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Niggalas Cage | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | Frug | 39% | 51 |
| #9 | WinnieTheJew | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | Femboy Fanatic | 32% | 25 |
| #11 | Konflex | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frug | 16 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | Spermino retardino | 10 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | WinnieTheJew | 10 | 0.0403 |
| #4 | Horseradishhasbugla | 7 | 0.0178 |
| #5 | Femboy Fanatic | 5 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horseradishhasbugla | 212 | 0.54 | 3 min |
| #2 | Frug | 209 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | Spermino retardino | 162 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | WinnieTheJew | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Femboy Fanatic | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Q™ | +3.17 | 52 | 60 |
| #2 | Frug | +2.78 | 89 | 67 |
| #3 | Spermino retardino | +2.19 | 98 | 62 |
| #4 | Horseradishhasbugla | +1.88 | 88 | 32 |
| #5 | quiz | +1.65 | 52 | 51 |





