










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 938 | 25% |
| Smokes | 806 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1102 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 877 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,760 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ric | 82% | 34 |
| #2 | noescoper rodrygues | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Ritsu Tainaka | 60% | 63 |
| #4 | lostᗜˬᗜ | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Guizinho_cagadinho | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ikuyo Kita | 212 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ritsu Tainaka | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | ric | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | toast | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | noescoper rodrygues | 46 | 0.18 | 1 min |





