








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1210 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1374 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1855 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 989 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,033,533 of utility $282 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 560 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ritsu Tainaka | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | R0CK3T CAMEL0 | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Arcan | 54% | 98 |
| #4 | toast | 51% | 119 |
| #5 | schizo | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arcan | 20 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | toast | 19 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | noescoper rodrygues | 14 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | breno hikikomori ❤ | 10 | 0.0277 |
| #5 | Ikuyo Kita | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noescoper rodrygues | 105 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Ikuyo Kita | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | toast | 97 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | breno hikikomori ❤ | 56 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ritsu Tainaka | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |





